EURO - ENGLISH
Submitted on: 02/28/11 19:10
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union
rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will
be dropped in favour
of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
second year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech
oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
About the author:
Gus V. Ze ozor of ze above iz unoun.
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but I ask you if English can be an official language of EU, when GB will leave EU, because it will officially accept its status as an US colony. :)
Furthermore Poland and the Baltic countries will have to leave EU, because of conspiracies in order of the US against an European integration. Russia will become a new important member of EU and Russian an official EU language.
This would make sense, wouldn't it. LOL