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Ok, so now I'm in my late teens and still a virgin and I don't really know why. Escorts are the obvious answer - but as far as I am concerned these are a work of fiction dreamed up by Jackie Collins and existing only in Hollywood fantasies. The internet has not been invented. Street girls seem impossibly sleazy. I need more knowledge - so the first step is pornography and with a little help with my monkey called "spank" I trawl through enormous quantities of so-called hard core porn in the hope of discovering exactly what missionary position is and does it involve being boiled by natives. During my several years research I discover that my first girlfriend probably had "vaginismus" - i.e. involuntary contraction of the vagina muscles preventing penetration. I am now 22, still a virgin, but remarkably knowledgable about something I have never tried!
At this point in my life I am absolutely gagging for a shag and it is probably showing in my face. Its the dribbling that gives it away. Girls don't seem to like that look you give them when you are desparate for it - you know the one, like a wolf waiting for its chance to pounce on a plate of meat. Consequently, although I have a few girlfriends over the next few years, they are all a bit peculiar and the relationships never actually progress as far as sex. They are more like free counselling. This situation drags on until my late twenties. I have given up on women totally as beer is more reliable and doesn't expect you to listen to its history of bad relationships. Hence I have lost that "desparate for a shag" look and suddenly, accidentally, I am attractive to the opposite sex again. I meet the girl that is to become my wife. She is mental. I am randy. We make love. It is awesome. It is the best sex that anyone has ever had in the history of mankind....
...but more of that tomorrow.
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Added on: 09/19/05 15:05
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So, in the story so far we have this beautiful, charming but sadly completely off her trolley young lady waiting for me in my future and the question is why did I pair up with someone a picnic short of a picnic? Well it all comes down to virginity. My virginity actually. I was in my late twenties and still a virgin. Perhaps you are thinking that I might have the looks of Quasimodo, the charm of Norman Tebbit and the body odour problem of a wart-hog with the squits. Not so. I am quite average really. It all went back to when I was 17 and was desparately trying to lose my cherry with a girl who had the same idea. Neither of us knew what we were doing and something went badly wrong. I was confused and baffled but being a perfect gent I took the blame myself and she, being an utter bitch of the highest order, blamed me too and promptly dumped me.
At this point I have a serious problem. I have tried to lose my cherry and failed. I don't know why. My school sex education lessons went from sperms impregnating eggs to catching crabs and clearly had missed out something vital in the middle. My self-confidence is at zero but being 17 I am too immature to seek professional help. I have no girlfriend to practise with. The obvious thing to do is to find an experienced girl to "help" - but that seems problematic. What am I supposed to do, ask her: "Please miss, I need a shag but don't know how to do it, can you help?". Now at this point you are perhaps thinking in terms of escorts being the answer....
....and to find out if they were you are going to have to wait until my next post!
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Added on: 09/18/05 15:34
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It has become apparent to me over the years that men, even other punters, have a particular dislike of the idea of married men visiting escorts. For single men, old and young, it seems almost accepteble for them to pop off to Amsterdam for a weekend of drugs and debauchery but not so for married men. The term "serial adulterer" enters peoples heads immediately. There is a feeling that married men can't keep their trouser snake under any kind of control at all. That seems to annoy single men almost as much as it annoys women. Well that wasn't quite why I got involved in this scene and I'll explain why.
I am 41 and married with kids. I met my wife when I was in my late 20's. She was tall, slim and beautiful (and still is). She was not self-absorbed like so many of the girls I used to meet in those days, she was interesting and interested in me. She had a heart of gold. She had a middle-class background and was well-educated. She seemed to be the perfect woman. It would be over a year before I realised that she had problems. Serious problems. Serious problems caused as a result of having been violently raped 5 years previously. But I didn't know that right away - after all, a woman would only say something like that to someone she really trusts. And to have that kind of trust in someone you have to be in love. Her problems were revealed slowly to me over a period of about a year, like unwrapping some kind of sinister parcel with something more horrific at each layer. She had been through a series of awful relationships since the rape, she had been through an abortion, she was addicted to anti-depressants, she was in enormous amounts of debt, she had severe mood swings, she was violent, she had a police record for stealing. You would never, in your wildest dreams, guess any of that on first meeting her.
Why, you are probably asking, would any sane man want to get himself mixed up in a situation like that? Well, that part of the story will have to wait until part 2.
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Added on: 09/17/05 15:56
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Having seen the blogs appearing on this site and particularly the one currently being created by "bluechip" I was inspired to blether away myself. I felt perhaps it would be useful for some people to know how I washed up here, a married man in middle age that visits escorts - escorts like "bluechip". Its the opposite perspective I guess. I wanted to give an idea of what it actually feels like to meet an escort, what escorts are like from a punters perspective, what kind of houses they live in, the areas they live in, what they have told me. Was I nervous, were there dodgy geezers about, was it like something out of "Band of Gold" - those are the questions I thought I would try and answer from my experience. Maybe guys thinking about taking the plunge into "punting" might find it useful. Maybe the escorts will too. I thought perhaps I would tell the story just like "bluechip" is doing - in installments. Maybe no-one will give a damn but hell, you don't have to read it! If nothing else it will get it off my chest - I find it difficult to keep my secret life bottled up all the time with no possibility to talk about it to anyone. Keep checking back if you think you'll be interested!
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Added on: 09/16/05 17:24
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