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i never really told u how i got here. im 39, 40 in april. i love thinking about it, in my head. a journey?
my mother would die of shock, i can hear it now...what did i do, to make u grow up like THIS? nothing, u did great. am i not a good daughter? well, i am, till she gets a load of this.
i dont really know, but i know it was nothing to do with the parents or anyone else close. but its not the mass norm behaviour, that i know. but it feels right. to me.
my mum was crying when she saw me with the mortar board and cloak at westminster. now look at me. some fallen angel, how did it happen? i dont know, well i think i do... and im glad it did.
since i was a teen, if i ever heard the words, prostitute, hooker, vicegirl, callgirl, whore, courtesan, on tv, or books, my head spun round to listen/read. i was intruiged and just wanted to know more. maybe an subconcious interest in a subculture, was sowing the seeds then. 14/15yrs old.
i was a virgin till almost 20yrs old. id left home at 18 and 1 week. could have done anything, but didnt!
i did see a man naked when i was 17, but i ran away, i was too scared to touch IT. i wanted to, tho!
my parents were quite strict, especially my dad, i had to be in way b4 my mates did, and had less pocket money too. if i wanted more i had to wash the car, do the bin, run errands etc. just normal teen kid stuff. uve all been there?
i hated my dad! much screaming and shouting and being sent to my room. im sure i screamed "u dont understand me!" hahaa how they mustve laffed.
my best friend at school was mike, a gay teen. 2 of us locked in my bedroom, teen angst, listening to joy division, bauhaus, siouxsie and the banshees, and everything else miserable.
mike wasnt "out" but he was deadly obvious as gay. i told him all my secrets, and him, me.
we had some mad adventures, we would pretend to be staying at each others houses, and go hitch-hiking to glasgow or edinburgh to go niteclubbing. of course, we got found out, and were grounded for months. i think we were 16 at the time.
i once told him i wanted to be a prostitute. he was squealing and shreiking, no! i knew i wasnt going to do it really, but i sort of meant it, then.
well, years went by, mike and i lost touch, just grew up, he went to live in glasgow, i was still at home, desperate to go somewhere else.
i got jobs, jobs i hated, it was the 80s, u just got what u got, if u lived mid scotland. thats why i cant call "this" a job? i equate the word "job" with something u dont like. work, sigh, job...yawn, work, etc..
at the end of this post, im 16. too much to tell! later.
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Added on: 01/05/06 22:19
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ahhh, a box of sobranie black russian cigs....black with gold tips, too beautiful to smoke. so i had 7. he brought a bottle of moet too, what a fab boy! im so shallow hahaa, easily pleased. i dont even smoke daytime, i equate it with nitetime or/and alcohol. psychological, not real addiction.
isnt it freezing today? im sure i saw an eskimo outside (ok, is the correct pc word.. inuit now? not eskimo?)
its so cold, there are polar bears knocking at the door, wanting to come in. i lived in scotland till i was 27, so i should know what cold is!? but its cold..
u would imagine scottish people would never go skiing, because of snow, because we hate it. but i love skiing, im quite good now. i had a one hr lesson, once, and set off. fell all the way of course, but it didnt hurt, just inconvenient. did a red run on the 2nd day, bit brave, me. went up to the black run 3rd day...oh jeezuz...its not called the black run for nothing, just sheet black ice, vertical, like skiing down a wall. they sprayed water on it at nite, so it froze, sheet ice, no snow. pure suicide! skiing is very expensive though. my fave place is the dolomites in north italy. they dont even speak italian, they speak ludino, a mix of german and latin. everyone spoke italian to me though, black hair maybe? and the fact i had a t-shirt on with "italia" on the front hahahaa...
so im pretty good now, as long as its not the black run!
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Added on: 01/05/06 19:49
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ive known about this dude for ages, but i just saw the latest offering, "the brown bunny" by actor/director vincent gallo. full on real bj by chloe sevigny. u see everything. i didnt know till i saw the film.
vincent gallo. the ego has landed...where egos dare...u know when someone is so up their own arse, it just gets ur attention? and u wonder why? and u sort of hate them and admire them? well, hes one of those. i suppose that might be a talent in itself. but get this! he is selling his sperm for a million on his site! if u send a pic, he might waive the fee of natural insemination! aaargh! he needs a slap!
he used to go out with her, chloe. they fell out. she started going out with rival who wrote the film "kids" the cultish teen aids flick. then this film, shes doing this real bj scene with gallo. some men...
well, have a look, www.vincentgallo.com
i cant get my head around men who have such ego and hatred of anything female. my boy mates, ive never had sex with them, we would never, itd be like incest. i love them to death, and them, they love me, do anything for me, i come b4 their gfs sometimes, i know. (no pun!) oh! that sounded dodgy haha
oh just leave it. stream of conciousness in writ..
my mum thinks its really weird i have male friends. not in her day etc....ive always had male friends, non sexual male friends. always. they tell me, and ask me stuff they would never ask or tell other girls, really embarrassing stuff for them, but they know they will get nitty gritty truth from me. thats a good thing, i think. am i an honourary geezerbird?
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Added on: 01/03/06 22:12
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im a popstar-dollymoppstar! i have done some clapping, not singing! on a very famous popband album! haha, i know they are going to credit me as "thanks to heather for giving us the clap" hahaa, but my hands hurt a bit. giving good clap is hard work...
well, ive had a few naughty girl days this week, im a bit achy breaky, like billy ray cyrus. dont need any gym after my gymnastic-fantastics. strictly come dancing? strictly just..come....ooer missus.
MORE new stockings..., i said i could open a stocking shop, well, maybe i could open a knocking shop too, haha...
got a new book today as a gift from a boy, a great book, im so pleased they know ME. it makes a big difference when someone just GETS u, u know what i mean?
went to dentist today again, im almost living there. my dentist is the campest man ive ever met, hes camper than a row of pink tents, full of gay men in them, sniffing poppers. thats how camp. so im having full gob veneers and its almost breaking the bank. but a good smile is important when u smile a lot? and i do...
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Added on: 01/03/06 19:06
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ive taken on this title ref of godliness, i dont know where that come from, im not religious at all! its just kind of fun tho. bit dramatic, like me! maybe subconscious, i know im a naughty girl deep down..im not! well, maybe in a good way! but i wash my doorstep, and go to tenants association meetings. haha! geek!
i did a blockbuster run tonite....i do a film series nite every so often, stay in, watch a load of films, chill....tortilla and dips...tonite..
"9 songs" good. "vera drake" great.
"the descent" edgy fun. "the heart is deceitful above all things" good.
the last one, ive met jt leroy, whose life this film is based on. u cannot imagine his life growing up. put his name in topbar....shock horror etc.
how do u spot a blind man in a nudist colony?
its not hard...
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Added on: 12/31/05 00:15
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for my boy today, i wore my new boots, he said in email he liked boots. snug fitting leathers, ankle buckle. they have never even been outside! new undies too. do u know what, i have way too much underwear, its climbing out of the cupboards now, i could open a stocking shop, u would imagine i have 48 legs or something. well, thatd be ok if i had 24 ladygardens as well! what a floozie id be!
where did the word floozie come from?
i now remember back in scotland, there was a club in glasgow called "floozies" just a normal club.
it was about 91' i had a new bf, and we were going to glasgow for a nite out, he was driving. we couldnt find this club we were looking for, and decided to ask anyone on the road we passed...well, little did we know, we happened upon the red light bit, and the 2 of us, green as grass, thought we would slow down, and ask the lady we saw, if she knew where floozies club was...
this other creature came out of nowhere, screaming up to the car, head right into the window, we both shrieked! aarrgh! and its squealing "im a floozie im a floozie, il do u both!"
bf is trying to wind up the window, and shove this skeletor head out, at the same time as driving? so he caught her head in the window, and screeches off..! the "floozie" is now running along side the car, in a head jam, screeching and hollering "il do u both!" oh my god, we were shitting ourselves, and hes trying to drive and get rid of the monster at the same time! if u could have seen that face...a council facelift and one lone tooth. looking at least 70, prob 50 though. the face of a thousand drugs.
i feel bad about saying that about her, u dont know how people have gotten to this stage. i know of many tragic stories where people like that were once ok. i did quite a bit of voluntary work in those sectors, u couldnt make it up.
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Added on: 12/30/05 23:39
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a few weeks ago, i had a life transition, like interview with the vampire, i posted on plink, i was having a real weirdout moment. if a moment lasts 2/3 weeks.
just like louis, waking up with new eyes, after lestat made him. i dont know what happened to me, i was all anxious panicky, sleeping and eating and waking at stupid o'clock, i thought..no-one lives like this?
ive only been in this new life for 10 weeks, but not new really, as u know. but 7yrs is a big gap! its a new mutation in the cyber world. what an improvement, more streamlined in the interaction and arrangement!
it was strange tho, im freelance anyway, and never have had a conservative schedule on anything, but i got to a bit where i didnt see any daylight, or had a real sit down meal, and it seemed like a yr. do u know what i was doing? waking up at 4am, going for a walk along shad thames, eating a block of cheese from the packet, just taking lumps out of it, and just standing by myself, at tower bridge, watching seagulls, with not a sound around. i sort of liked it, and would start laffing to myself, and then think...this isnt what other people are like? not that im ever coloured by that, but it did feel weird.
im much enjoying my new venture, and ive noticed something else. me, just going shopping in daytime, men, checking me. staring at me. im casually dressed, but all i can think of is they know ive just been f.....? pheromones? i read a while ago, that women who are sexually active, give off pheromones, and inadvertently will be giving off sexual vibes. i cant argue with it.
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Added on: 12/29/05 20:57
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nothing. except a mess in a condom! but u clicked on it hahhaa...
well, a quite creative day stocking shopping wise! but THIS bit is a wee bit scary to me. i turned down a "real day job", make up job in favour of a visitor.. oh. what does that mean....? to tell the truth, ive done that a few times now. somethings up. i never ever thought id do that. its not even money, i earn more in the other job. i dont call "this" a job. its more like, "how i choose to spend my time/life" or something. ive always had about 5 fingers in pies, i hate being tied to anything, or one thing, maybe thats why im not married nor have any children either, i have never wanted to be and have never felt broody either. i almost bowed down to all of that years ago, but it never felt right. in my home town, if ur not married by 23, ur odd. so u can imagine the questions i get, 39, still on the shelf...if i was a man, id be a playboy batchelor, but im a tragic spinster/maybe lesbian as far as they are concerned.
i got another "3hrs grace" call today, they seem to be happening this week. i was fine for it, he was very handsome indeed, i couldnt keep my eyes off him. this is my diary, right? i want to see this in a years time. thats why im telling u about the boys. discreetly tho. its my notes. no-one should have any fear, u know me a bit, well, in the biblical sense! and a bit more, besides.
i bought a new diary to write in too, a4, 1 page a day. but its just for appts, my work, and stuff like dentist etc!
late aft, went shopping for new stockings, that diary, up in bond st. on travels, i found that sock shop has a "showstoppers" stocking venture! got a few there. showstopping indeed!
got a call for tomorrows boy, all good. i dont see more than 1 boy a day, i like a frisson, not a wham bam dolly ma'am!
went into clone zone, cos im running out of my large condoms! need to get up to gum for freebies soon. got some passantes and trojan magnums.
is this looking like a dirtygal bridget jones diary? hahhaa, 20 condoms, 3 cigs, 9stone, 2 Timewasters on fone.
(joking about the 20 condoms bit!)
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Added on: 12/29/05 19:43
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got woken up by fone this morn, incall request, hugh grants voice just SUNG thru the airwaves...mmm, well, ok, not the REAL hugh grant, but something like it?
i had 3hrs to get the dolly in gear, oh! what will i wear?....posh voice, so get posh undies out. boy is coming from the city. same day boys are an ok request, but i need a bit of time.
i didnt do incalls at first, i was too scared! my house looks a bit freaky and arty, there is one wall that is papered in xmas paper. and u know how i hate xmas! but its tiny snowflakes on a gold background, it really looks more turkish souk. boys love my house, so thats good. i really do have that little saucy boudoir, i think i might do a shoot in it. i have a new bouncy bed! another purchase from my ill-gotten gains...well, u know what i do. i wont refrain from small n sweet references about boys, u know the way, and the way that u have found me! ur all special, and in ur own little ways, u enrich my life and my brain.
he was a sweety, the hugh grant boy. i love boys who.. want to talk about... books!
in my new venture,(10 weeks in, from 7yrs ago) i only did outcall at first, but i love incalls! its my domain? i love my place to smell of figuier candles upon arrival, diptique candles are exp, but i just adore the smell of fig. i light them 1 hr b4. put out the lights. i spend that hr in the bathroom, preening and pampering. fig is such a sexy smell. earthy and heady. fresh figs dont smell tho.
had a big fat rump steak for dinner, rare, dripping of blood. rump is better than sirloin, the intro-marbled fat gives moisture. did a sundried tomato sauce oil on the skillet for the fast burn, buttery mash with sage and parsley, and er, mushy peas! no snobbery food here! chopped some mint into peas tho. chunky bit of toasted ciabatta to dip in bloodied oil. meal, fit for a dollymopp!
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Added on: 12/27/05 21:33
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was up really late last night. like i said last nite, a bit of a boring day (thats why i hate xmastime), got on plink, had some vodka! im a 4 pot screamer, that means i have 4 drinks and thats the limit. bit tipsy. id forgotten, then remembered the trend of the 90s, flavoured vodka. so decided to concoct a delicious recipe...try it! easy and so tasty. anyone can do it!
ingredients:
bottle of vodka
any chocolate of ur choice (but not with lumps in it, ie:nuts)
method:
1.pour some vodka out of bottle into a small cup.
2.break up choc bar of choice. (me, 2 dime bars)
3.push bits of choc into bottle.
4.put it somewhere warm, like airing cupboard, on top of radiator. leave for a bit. choc melts!
5.shake it! put it in freezer. alcohol doesnt freeze.
6.wait till chilled.
7.retreive from fridge....pour a short! drink!
imagine eating a dime bar and getting drunk? thats what its like, u really taste it! u can do it with anything, fruit, boiled sweets, toffee.
sampled garlic vodka once.. just DONT.
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Added on: 12/27/05 18:37
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are u allowed to do this more than once a day? cant u see im back to excited child state aka, when i discovered plink and EW? broken ankle august...? i got a laptop from faved reg to amuse myself...it was like someone gave me the golden key to the new world secrets, my eyes were shooting out of my head, i was drunk on it. pure delirium. i was used to paper ads in the real world.
oh, its 27th dec 2005, forgive me, i need more entertainment than this. thats cos westshite is on tv.
u wont be getting 2 posts in one day all the time u know! but i am spontaneous, and shoot from the hip, shite from the bum. oh i cant believe i just put that haha, oh just leave it, cringy! i know ur allowed to edit.
tracy emin can be very embarrassing. but its the willingness to be, that i like. and im kind of like that. god, i have cringed at plink posts ive done, ive edited a bit too. but mostly, i just leave it to watch the car crash after. its not bad.
new thought...baby oil? that must be hard to extract?
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Added on: 12/27/05 01:20
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lets see if i get this right? what a boring day i thought..decided to go out on new bike b4 dark, not road brave yet, went for a little trawl around city n spitalfields. quite a few people about. came to this shop off the market, smudge gallery. delighted to see some "banksy" art on print canvas. found chip shop, suddenly got the chip urge, crap chips, tepid and limp. rode over london bridge, saw a dog mooching around. went into a londis and bought 6 tins of pedigree chum, plastic cutlery and got a placcy bag for a plate. the dog was called "astral", a lurcher. sat down with the girl. gave her a fiver. rode home. mooched around, did some emailing for real job, fished out barry manilow cos i just got the urge to hear "could it be magic", that could be a post in itself, but id go all bret easton ellis psycho! promised a faved wg id call her, as was texting her on my bike travels. so we had a good chat when i got home. checked some boy emails, cosy feeling emails from boys in the last week meets. im having a nice life...
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Added on: 12/27/05 00:20
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well, its the day, the day i decided to start a blog! i will remember and look back? 25th dec 2005, let me put that. i can remember 1978, but i cant remember where i put my keys 5mins ago.
hello, let me intro myself, im heather, or dollymopp if u read some stuff on plink.
im not going to rant right now, oh! that will come later, u will be knocking over women, children and furniture in the proccess to get away when that happens!
u will also notice that i dont do grammatically correct writ lit online too. the head runs away with the fingers. i think ul get it tho. i am of literary competence when i need to be, in the non cyber world.
so! shall we procceed?
well, im back in the escort fold, 2 mths in..7yr gap yr. im so happy, my face hurts from smiling.
i dont know if u should repeat plink posts, though i seemed to use that as blog up till now. think i just will, its well received. almost every boy ive met, found me on forum. brave boys!
today is xmas day, i HATE it. i like to use it for more productive things/activities. yes, THAT included. no calls today tho.
the film "working girl" is on in a min. working girl, hmm... the melanie griffiths feel good story of an underling serf making good. it makes u warm inside, cos u all have a story like it, somewhere.
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Added on: 12/25/05 16:55
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