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As some of you will no doubt recall I once took part as the passive partner in a disappointing attempt at strapon sex
I was staying at my Mothers place at the time (not the venue for the tryst)and after the 3some I went back there, washed said strapon in dettol and hid it in my old bedroom and returned to the West Midlands.
about 5 years later-last year I went back to my annual visit to my old mum when my sister said "you need to get rid of certain items in a box in your room...."
"What items" says your correspondent, My sis replied "theres a line printer box, its hasn't got a line printer inside it!"
Oh shit! says I
yes you guessed it My oh so straight sister found big brothers strap on plus assorted porno mags and a directory of dominant mistresses.
The other two participants in the strapon scene didn't half lsugh when I told em.
Darth embarressimus
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Added on: 02/03/07 07:39
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Ive been thinking about sexual fantasies and I'm not so much on about the french maid policewoman outfit level so much as the sort of thing I missed out on in my oh so shy oh so misspent youth..
I mean I would love to have met a girl, got talking and had a one night stand
I'd love to have got it on at a gig
but no, all this and more was for my mates not me
at 42 I look back and really regret that Ive only ever had full sex with one woman and she was and is 17 years older than me (There were about 4 assorted BJs and shags in fetish clubs and at a friends-he sometimes arranges a threesome but I did not actually come.
I intend to make up for lost time with WGs but it won't be the same though Im sure it will be fun.
To this day I wonder if that buxom babe on the school bus when I was 15 really did actually fancy me, and just maybe was not as I thought just taking the piss.
Sometimes I think I equate some sort of self worth with shagging a lot, do I really think that fucking is all there is to life?
Beats the heck out of me.
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Added on: 01/29/07 15:20
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OK ladies Ive got the money Ive got the motivation Ive done my research so why havn't I dived head-or something, first into the wonderful world of WGs?
well its because apart from the above desiderata Ive also got sinusitis-had it for 3 months since I got over tonsilitis,the GP gave me antibiotics and said if they dont work you'll have to wait for spring for it to go they did not work well they did then it came back.
Now I would not want to be close to a WG in my snotty state (dont even think about kissing)
so maybe spring will be the season of prancing lambs, bunnies, and priapic perviuses?
good to be back on the blog love to all
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Added on: 01/05/07 04:57
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Trawling working ladies pages I am astounded at the number of WGs that find it nessesary to warn prospective clients that "they have nothing to do with anything involving animals"
Now, its not the position that the ladies take on the
matter that astounds me, but rather I am amazed that
that many guys are into bestiality.
Now ok, you may gentle reader say oh come on, what red blooded male has not fantasized about Kelly Brook in a badger outfit?
fair point I say but what about all the seamy louche talk about sheep and wellies cattle horses ducks
and guinea pigs and sello tape that occurs when a bunch of men get together on earth pissed?
How disgusting, how strange....
that no one ever confesses their desire for a leopard.
To me leopards are beautiful sexy and graceful,
and of course any sexual congress with panthera pardussus does carry a frisson of almost inevitable
hardcore sado masochism...
Ive never heard men (or leopards) discuss leopardism
there would appear to be a conspiracy of silence about
the whole subject.
And following on from government thinking that an absence of evidance re islamic terrorism is proof of how deep and pervasive the conspiracy is
I can only assume that our zoos and safari parks are
hotbeds of "leoparding"
Now who among you boys and girl can refute a well reasoned argument like that?
Darth
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Added on: 10/07/06 16:47
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Funny that dolly was compiling albums I'm doing darth's 80s a collection of
billy idol "eyes without a face" and "dancing with myself"
heaven 17 "come live with me" "temptation" "we live so fast"
a flock of seagulls "wishing" the Psychadelic furs "pretty in pink"
and prefab sprout "the king of rocknroll"
at the moment electronic melancholy appears to have gripped me
though my all time fave band is the stranglers
by the way guess who wrote the sinead o'connor hit "nothing compares to you"
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Added on: 09/14/06 16:04
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A couple of years ago a mate of mine arranged a 3some in which my fantasy of being buttfucked by a tasty lady (ideally the stormtrooper girl out of farscape or 7 of 9 {resistance is futile}out of voyager or starbuck in the new battlestar galactica (sorry but girls that smoke big cigars are fucking sexy) could be made reality. Now very little headway could be made as my ability to relax was impaired by the fact that her welcome intrusion gave me the most fearful attack of flatulance which visiting the loo did not relieve .And since I was brought up that its bad manners to fart into a ladies face I I could not relax and enjoy
in the words of squeeze "its not like that in the movies, when its cool for cats its cool for cats"
Any of you party people no the name of the girl who covered that song in an advert?
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Added on: 09/09/06 18:04
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Saw a lady in Walsall good and accurate reports on Punternet
I may go back, I got on well with the lady,fancied her and had a nice play but alas, I could not relax, to the point where the feeling and desire just gets electric.
Is it just me or does a really good orgasm feel like an ache, but a GOOD ache?!!
I was that nervous before going out, showered twice (after going to loo before setting out lest I put the lady off with a farty smell) checked my recently operated on nose for any perfidious bogeys and sallied forth
my oral technique and essex accent found favour which was nice.
I think I'll experiment a bit more before deciding if punting is for me.
regards
Darth
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Added on: 09/04/06 14:40
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Ive been inspired by 2 recent blogs from Dollymopp and Josephine, regarding the conversations one may have about conspiracy theories and so on. I think this stuff is pretty cool and a lot of the weirdness
Josephine mentioned is up my street don,t know about the asparagus though.
Aithough its often said that punters and WGs are just like anyone else, I wonder if the transgressive and outsider nature of this life makes WGs and punters more likely, in the great Peter Cook self description, to feel that we are "at a slight angle to the universe?"
Dolly, your talk of being beside myself would appear to be a siren song dragging me back on the rocks of
neuro linguistic programming (NLP)
And there's me thinking I'd left that overpriced cultish, mainly banal rarely sublime cesspool of the flake, the fucked up and the scientology hand me down
money for old rope in the personal development game well behind me.
Now ok im biased but I did get a master practitioner
in this shit about 10 years ago from one of the co founders
Now if you ladies and gents are still here the velevance to Dollys blog is that NLP teaches that when people describe experience in such a way they are describing exactly what they do with the internal picture show and internal dialogue/sound track to construct experience and emotion.
Now feeling beside oneself is feelin that one is outside of ones body which NLP calls diassociated
if one has an experience memory or fantasy whilst
inside ones body this is called being associated.
Being associated results in experiencing sensation and emotion, according to NLP being disassociated reduces the strength of feelings ie the beside myself
thing could be a defence mechanism to reduce the rage
or to give one freedom from self restraint...
If ive offended anyone I apologise and will be glad to chat about it and explain why I wish I spent my 6000 investment on NLP on WGs instead.
all the best
Darth
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Added on: 09/01/06 04:14
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As a prospective punter I have a couple of worries on punting,
from my own point of view I know that there is a real risk that I might not come due to nerves and perhaps conversesly that I may get addicted to the various gorgeous ladies.
Also it may not do much for my self esteem to pay for what others get for free, or pay for in other ways...
Also of course it can be argued that no matter how polite one is, the relationship of punter and wg is fundamentally abusive based on resource inequality.
though when the inheritance comes in I know that I am going to give punting a go...
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Added on: 04/06/06 16:16
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