After a few glasses of Pinot Grigio
Want to hear some wine induced ramblings and how naughty I have been tonight?! I felt on the verge tonight to reveal my secret life to a few special friends, I decided against it, and after reading Kimberley's blog am glad that I did.
Tonight I have had my first non-paid sexual encounter since starting escorting, a guy that I have fancied something rotten for months and months and now I feel riddled with guilt as I feel that I have made him sleep, unwittingly with a whore.
He has wanted me for ages about two years all in all, I have always known so has he. Its one of those scenarios where you glimpse each other across the room and smoulder at each other, so much so with him that he instantly makes me aroused. He has had a girlfriend for the majority of that time so I haven't made any sort of noise about recipricating what he wants. Sounds hypocritical I know, as I sleep with peoples husbands on a daily basis but in my personal life its something that I dont entertain, the thought of betraying another woman knowingly is something that I would not want to be involved with. In this life of discretion between two parties somehow it seems different, maybe it is the business transaction between us, Im not sure but its definately the anonyminity that has something to do with it, even with my regular gents it goes without saying that we are there for mutual sexual pleasure and friendship and no more.
It started off as an early drink with a few close friends and there he was alone, we made constant eye contact and I could feel electrical impulses surging through me making me instantly aroused. I went to the ladies, purposely passing where he was sitting. I knew he would acknowledge me and he did so. We immediately got into talking about our attraction for each other and how he had split with his girlfriend. The upshot of it all was that I ended up calling a taxi and we ended up at mine.
We were hardly through the door before we had our hands all over each other, he had the most amazing hard on which I could see through his jeans (yes jeans and hard ons are a fave of mine!) Whether its the confidence of escorting I dont know but I undid his zip immediately (he was on the sofa) and took him in my mouth while kneeling in front of him, I love hearing a man moan while he is in my mouth and he certainly came up with the goods! We were soon up in my bedroom where we have spent the last two hours fucking in every position under the sun.
He has gone now and has already texted me twice wanting to see me again but I doubt I can do it, I cant tell him what I do and I cant live a lie. If I started to see him I know it would not go down well at all he would most probably be horrified, so Im left with wondering how the hell I explain I dont want to see him again.
It does make me realise though that I am not ready for a boyfriend again, especially while doing this job.
Jx
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Added on: 03/25/06 19:37
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Comments
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Josephine |
 
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all people were as open minded as yourself.
That was certainly a mechanical night when I look back on it now .. written after a few drinky-poos!
Anyway just had a look at your profile, you sound like a very interesting person, can we expect a blog?
Josephine xx
Posted on: 04/14/06 19:43
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runningbear eleven |
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For me... As long as you are the best whore you can be and are proud of your work, why would I care what you do for money?
We are all whores my dear, just some are labeled that and some are called lawyers, artists, business people, etc...
I think to many people confuse sex for love. Sex is mechanics, love is acceptance.
You can have both and you can have them separate. I would like to have sex with many people and I currently do love many people. It doesnt mean anything. It just is what it is.
Posted on: 03/29/06 13:23
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jono |
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And .. it will sort out the wheat .. The right man will be fascinated, the wrong one horrified or judgemental
Posted on: 03/27/06 15:38
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Josephine |
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I agree with what you say Panda, In the long run If I had to, I would much prefer to tell a guy than a gal, and it is certainly something that has crossed my mind if I meet a guy and he asks about me I will just come straight out with it and tell him, problem was the guy on Saturday night is someone who I have known a number of years from before I started escorting, someone who lives near to me so its a real no go area!
As for the blowjob part ... I certainly take your point.
Jx
Posted on: 03/27/06 14:58
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one eyed panda |
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That the little underworld we inhabit has so few points of crossover with the rest of our social life. It's really sad for you that you are so certain that if you give your real occupation the guy will just disappear at best.....
Funnily enough I think you will find men are more accepting than women outside of the profession even though the numbers of women that that have tried working must be rising with the profile of the parlour system. I have discussed what I do with one or two friends, not necessarily the closest but those with plenty of life experience, and they weren't too surprised in the context of discussing long term problems in marriage. For which read we've tried it too....
I think women would be different. Although women generally are not very sympathetic to the plight of a woman who loses a partner through failing to give him enough attention, finding out that one of her friends facilitates men to have sexual expereinces outside of marriage or whatever, would be a challenge. It could also be a source of jealousy, as in you're having better time than me, and having a lot more sex too.... The problem I would think would be the discretion - while an individual woman might be able to accept what you do, she would probably tell somebody else, whereas a man could keep the confidence.
There are of course plenty of men who partner escorts with success levels similar to any other occupations.
I would suggest that the next time you meet a guy that seems interesting and he asks you what you do tell him you're an escort straight away. He probably won't believe you but I think the key might be to do it before there's any sexual component to the relationship (physical as oppposed to attraction pmsl) then if it continues you have at least made a start. Make sure to give him a good blowjob then he will realise you might be telling the truth and take it from there!!! I'm not trivialising this I'm serious x
Posted on: 03/27/06 14:42
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Kimberley |
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I know I always wish my mobile and laptop would disappear when I drink. My mobile did on Friday though. So quiet not having a work phone, think I have gone deaf.
Posted on: 03/27/06 09:18
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Josephine |
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Thanks for the replies ... I will have to steer myself away from blogging when I have been out on the razzle in future ... nearly removed this blog this morning ... oh the shame! Its staying though as a reminder not to blog while under the influence!
As for the chappie involved I think escorting will come first and a few white lies will have to be told to disentangle myself from the situation.
Jx
Posted on: 03/26/06 15:45
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jono |
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I'm with Corinthian on this one. If you have made your personal moral decision then he needs to be steered gently away in another direction.
Then again you might have made the decision on a false premis, only you can know
I heard an expression the other day "urgent sex" .. true honest desire that hits us like a brick every so often, and if it is mutual then it can be very very special. It strikes me that you both needed some "urgent sex" I wouldn't feel guilty, you seem both to be free individuals. I suppose you might feel some regret because he might be prince charming and the man to spend the rest of your life with but I sense that may not be the case and the pair of you just fancied the rocks off each other. If it does go deeper time will tell and you will have a chance to have another bite
Posted on: 03/26/06 12:20
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51scotty |
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I have just been to my local Asda for the weekly shop,and they have already sold out of Pinot Grigio,must be more folks read this blog site than we think! LOL
Jo,i can imagine you receiving lots of bottles from guys prior to them visiting you,with the instruction that you're to start drinking it approx two hours before they arrive............if it was me visiting though,i would demand you saved at least one mouthful for us to share during an intimate moment............just to see if it had the same effect as lager.haha
On a serious note Jo,don't feel riddled with guilt,about making him sleep unwittingly with a whore............because last night he didn't,he slept with someone who is obviously a very lovely caring person with feelings,and by the sound of it he want's to take it further...........yet another dilemma raises it's head!.....guess you knew this escorting business was never going to be straightforward, more decisions to be made,but i am sure you'll make the one that's best for you...........and i thought it was just us guys who had problems!
Posted on: 03/26/06 08:04
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